DanNation

Well it's about time!

2012-01-23T09:39:00.001-05:00

Evidently Blogger now has an iPhone app. Last time I checked, they didn't. Maybe if they'd done this years ago, DanNation wouldn't be such a barren wasteland!

Perhaps there's hope...

Hardly worth the two month wait, but...

2012-01-19T14:55:00.008-05:00

I have come up with some headlines, stadium banners, chants, etc. that will be used in Texas and elsewhere, now that the Rangers have signed Japanese pitcher Yu Darvish.

These are the best ones I could come up with in 30 minutes or less. If anyone's still reading this, feel free to chime in with some of your own!

1. Texas newspaper headline, the day after Yu goes on the disabled list and his AAA replacement is terrible: "Thinking of Yu."

2. New York Post headline after Yu's been a disappointment, is traded to the Yankees, and then pitches surprisingly well: "Happy To Be Stuck With Yu!"

3. Female fan in her 60's, holding sign at game: "YU MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN!"

4. Female fan in her late 30's, holding sign at game: "YU HAD ME AT HELLO!"

5. Chorus of song that will be played if Yu bats at PNC Park, and Vince Lascheid rises from the dead: "Is That Yuuuuuuu, Baby? Or Just a Brilliant Disguise?"

6. Group of guys who will soon be thrown out of Angel Stadium of Anaheim, holding banner: "FUCK YU." (Group wearing t-shirts that say "YUCK FU" may be allowed to stay, citing late 80's/early 90's "MUCK THE FETS" precedent).

7. Everyone at Rangers' Ballpark, singing in unison: "Oh baby YU! Yu got what I neeeeeed!" And then they should probably stop there, or it won't really make sense.

8. Entry music from the bullpen, if Yu becomes a closer and has sex reassignment surgery: The Smithereens' "A Girl Like Yu."

9. Entry music from bullpen, if Yu becomes a closer and remains a man: "Yu Shook Me All Night Long."

10. Stadium exit music after a Darvish loss: "Yu Can't Always Get What Yu Want(s)."

Fall TV Pilots: 5 Nay, 1 Yay

2011-11-17T12:09:00.001-05:00

Anyone besides me check out any of the new shows on cable or broadcast this fall?

As longtime readers know, I love to sample, if only to know just a little more about these individual pieces of The Pop Culture.

First, my 2011 Fall Rejects:

Suburgatory, ABC: Watched one episode. Wasn't awful, but wasn't good.

Two Broke Girls, CBS: Watched one episode. Thought it actually was kind of awful. Apparently others do not agree, given the solid ratings.

New Girl, FOX: This was a tough one. Stopped after watching four episodes. It's exactly the kind of show I should like. And it certainly has moments that make me laugh out loud -- but they're too few and far between. It doesn't clear the bar for "can't miss" viewing -- pretty much the only kind of TV I accept.

Boss, STARZ: This pilot was beautifully done (directed by Gus Van Sant in a very cinematic way). And you can take it to the bank that Kelsey Grammer is going to be nominated for many awards for this show. But midway through the second episode, I couldn't stay interested in all the nitty gritty political stuff. There wasn't enough of an emotional connection to the characters for me. Plus I am tougher on dramas, since they take up more time. But Grammer is awesome.

X-Factor, FOX: Just watched snippets of a few episodes. Much as I love Simon and Paula, I can only handle one time-consuming reality show in my life, and that remains American Idol.

As for the success...

Homeland on Showtime.

It's a lot like 24 (government agents chasing terrorists), but less frenetic and more of a psychological thriller, with far more character development.

I was reasonably sucked in after the pilot -- then it got a little bogged down in CIA procedural stuff for an episode or two, before picking up big time. Digging it.

The little-remembered "Popete, The Other Sailor Man"

2011-10-06T13:48:00.004-04:00

How do you misspell something this prominent in a listing? Not to mention the double "men's."

Pilot #2

2011-09-21T17:26:00.005-04:00

FOX's buzzed-about New Girl got some serious-ass ratings last night, actually building on its Glee lead-in.

And unlike 2 Broke Girls the night before, I have to say I'm digging it -- at least as far as you can dig something after a single episode.

Having been in Almost Famous, Zooey Deschanel gets my lifetime stamp of approval. But she in fact deserves the accolades for her performance here. It's not a perfect show, and some elements will hopefully end up on the scrap heap post-pilot. But I actually laughed out loud before the 60-second mark. Always a good sign.

Let the Ratings season begin

2011-09-20T13:39:00.004-04:00

Was just reading CBS's news release about last night's ratings.

They of course lead with the crazy high numbers for Two and a Half Men -- which led to crazy high numbers for their new comedy, 2 Broke Girls.

They brag about this by pointing out that 2BG's 19.2 million viewers were the most for a comedy premiere in 10 years -- surpassing the ratings of "Inside Schwartz."

Yeah, because that turned out really well.

By the way, I watched 2BG and wasn't terribly amused. But we'll see if it can cash in on the high number of samplers from last night. And it's not on my Ted Marshall list, so I don't really care if it survives!

Things still grind my gears

2011-09-15T18:24:00.012-04:00

Earlier this summer, Netflix pissed off a bunch of people by raising their prices. Apparently a not insignificant number of people followed through on their threats to quit.

I shall now, at the risk of confusing you, bash both the Netflix-bashers, and Netflix.

BASHING THE BASHERS: OK, yeah. My bill went up "60%" -- which is like six bucks. Quite frankly, in the grand scheme of things, I could give two shits, and I don't understand quitting over it (unless you were really on the edge of not using it enough to make it worth it). $20 a month for unlimited streaming AND unlimited two-at-a-time DVD's straight to my door is still, in my humble opinion, a fine deal. Back in the days of the (not so) friendly neighborhood Blockbuster, you were paying $4.50 for one DVD. And you had to get up off your ass and go there. Only to find they didn't have what you wanted. I daresay people are getting a tad spoiled.

BASHING NETFLIX: What does bother me is that the rate increase is part of a larger, not-so-clandestine effort to Jedi Mind Trick everyone away from DVD's by mail, to the Netflix streaming-only plans. This is not cool. I understand that all that mail is getting expensive. But they can't in good conscience pretend like their streaming offerings are actually an acceptable substitute for a DVD plan. The offerings are pretty awful. I don't know the percentages, but I feel like a truly tiny portion of TV shows and (actual good) movies are there for streaming. Almost every time I look something up, it's DVD-only. Yet they've changed several aspects of the website to steer us that way. I dare you to try to buy a Gift Subscription for someone that covers X months of a DVD plan. I believe the Netflix company line is that the higher fees will give them the money to add to their streaming offerings. We'll see. But for now, it pisses me off.

Madden '12 released; I buy Madden '11!

2011-09-02T15:36:00.003-04:00

So, I balked last year at buying Madden '11, and played a second year of Madden '10. (While grumbling about the $60 price tag, I also told some kids to get off my lawn).

But with this week's release of Madden '12, Madden '11 has become 100% obsolete to real gamers. So I picked up a copy yesterday for a mere $14!

I am now rid of Santonio Holmes, Limas Sweed, and a host of other obsolete members of the Black and Gold. I was disappointed to find that Antonio Brown did not crack last year's roster, but I do have Emmanuel Sanders. I'm still stuck with Skippy instead of Suisham, but that means I can continue to lead the league in destroying gas station paper towel dispensers.

Also, I must say that the selection of Peyton Hillis for the cover of the new game is ridiculous. Aren't there like 10 better running backs in the NFL?

At least I'm not the only one

2011-08-03T15:09:00.003-04:00

I believe that aside from Sean and Bram, no one I know still blogs. Several more of the links at left are dead.

Clearly the popularity of blogs (at least non-professional ones) peaked and then nosedived a while ago, thanks to Facebook and Twitter.

Is this because most of what people had to say in this format can actually be said in 140 characters or less? Or because we are now too lazy to come up with in-depth thoughts? Or because we are too lazy to read them?

I still blame Scrabble (and a re-emergence of my fountain pen hobbying) for my non-blogging. But maybe Twitter has had an insidious effect on my brain even though I don't really use it.

What I Need To Catch Up On, Part I: Spring/Summer TV

2011-08-03T14:14:00.012-04:00

Back from my traditional Massachusetts summer vacation, and no, I haven't entirely quit blogging yet. Anyone still reading this??

Lots to catch up on. We begin with what we've been watching on the rectangular talking picture box:

Newsweek calls Breaking Bad (AMC) the "finest hour on TV." I cannot argue. Enough said.
True Blood (HBO) isn't quite as thrilling as it was the first few seasons, but it's still terrific summer brain/eye candy.

United States of Tara (Showtime) was cancelled after its most recent third season. I dug the show, but I think they did just about all they could do with it. Though I may have enjoyed the last season the most, thanks to Eddie Izzard's season-long guest arc.

It's clearly time for Entourage to wrap it up -- which they are. But this final season's tone so far has been a return to the good old days -- a vast improvement over last season's Sasha Grey-induced gloom and doom.

Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO) is awesome as always. May the genius continue to spring forth from the brain of Larry David.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl from BBC/Showtime called it quits after the season that just ended. Loved the final season, but (like Tara and Entourage), they'd done all they could do.

The Franchise (Showtime) follows the San Francisco Giants through the 2011 season. A Hard Knocks-style show featuring Brian Wilson? Yeah, I'm clearly loving it.

And last but not least, on vacation we watched last year's first season of The Big C (Showtime). Excellent. Watching Season 2 as it airs this summer. Laura Linney is remarkable.

More to come. And I'm actually not lying this time.

So close, but no Marshall Cup

2011-07-05T15:50:00.003-04:00

After finishing 12th last year out of 104 entries in the Ted Marshall Open, I came even closer to victory this year. I ended up in a four-way tie for 3rd place, out of 87 entries.

Though I am proud to say that I know this year's winner, Sean! Great news that one of the folks JQ originally dragged into this has won the title.

The only show that I missed was Body of Proof, a seemingly undistinguished procedural drama starring Dana Delaney. It was supposed to debut in October, but got bumped to April, where it was apparently just promising enough to win a spot on the ABC fall schedule.

There's a decent chance it would've failed if it had premiered when it was supposed to. But I actually hope it succeeds. If it's gone by December, it'll just tick me off that it was a timing issue.

Damn you, Delaney!

NY Post, June 14

2011-06-15T18:45:00.001-04:00

Get thee to the motherfucking theater

2011-05-17T13:49:00.002-04:00

Went to NYC a couple of weeks ago for a Broadway triple-header.

I know most of my twelve or so readers are not huge theater fans, but unless you absolutely hate it, you need to see The Book of Mormon. That's the new musical by South Park masterminds Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

All I can say is that it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen, anywhere. And also hilariously raunchy. There are things said on that stage that you never thought you would hear uttered in a Broadway theater. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Basically, just imagine that the guys who wrote a song with the chorus, "Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucker" have been allowed to write an entire musical. Because they have. But it's so much more than just raunchy. It's got a clever message, a brilliant score, and heart. Really, can't say enough great things about it. The cast recording came out today, and it's going to be playing non-stop in my car for quite some time.

Anyway, it's going to clean up at the Tonys, at which point you will hear more about it, if you haven't already come across it.

The second show we saw was Catch Me If You Can, the new musical based on the story that inspired the movie. It was just average. You'd think that with such an interesting basis for a plot, you'd be able to make a musical more thrilling than this. It wasn't bad, and had a handful of memorable songs, but it also had some major issues.

And the third show of the weekend was the new revival of Anything Goes, starring Sutton Foster (pictured---not the Mormon guy). I have a bit of a crush on her, and was happy to finally get to see her perform live. Though time constraints and the desire to not embarass myself kept me from saying hello at the stage door. Anyway, the plot of Anything Goes is a little dated and silly, as most 70-year-old musicals are, but when they're well done, these classics are still entertaining. And this definitely was. I'm not usually wowed by the big showy numbers, but there was some seriously entertaining choreography here.

That cast should also pick up some Tony hardware. Speaking of which, I will post my predictions here in a couple of weeks. Don't all shout for joy at once. Really, just control yourselves.

Trib writers: Evidently not big G-Lo fans

2011-05-11T16:41:00.001-04:00

This is taken directly from the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review's Calendar of Arts Events (with my highlighting added):

Where the Streets Have No Business Being Named That

2011-05-03T11:19:00.004-04:00

Courtesy of Emily's friend who lives in NJ -- but I'm not sure where the streets actually are.

And apparently, based on the last three posts, this is now exclusively a penis-themed blog.

The Most Poorly Hidden Double Meaning Ever?

2011-04-26T12:59:00.002-04:00

1. Vaseline has a product called Vaseline For Men.

2. Emily pointed out to me that they're running a sweepstakes that is ostensibly about football or something, but it's called the Keep Your Grip Challenge.

3. So, to recap, that's a lubricating substance marketed toward men, urging them to Keep their Grip. Is it just me, or is this absolutely ridiculous? How have comedians not noticed this?

Good Bad Wood

2011-04-26T12:50:00.002-04:00

When I heard the Pirates had signed Brandon Wood, I knew the name sounded really familiar. But because I don't pay much attention to the American League, I had to look him up to remind myself.

He was a huge prospect with the Angels -- and was in fact Baseball America's #3 prospect in 2006.

But he's been freakishly bad in the majors -- so much so that an article in Baseball Prospectus today refers to him as "one of the least productive players in baseball history." Ouch. Looking at his minor league numbers vs. his major league track record, it really is bizarre.

But the good news is: His real name is Richard. So here's hoping Dick Wood becomes the greatest dumpster-dive in the history of the Pirate organization.

Suddenly, I'm Captain Easychord

2011-04-12T13:50:00.001-04:00

No offense, Easy. But you do have a reputation for "Why I'm not blogging" entries!

Anyway, remember when I said that Scrabble might ruin my productivity? Well, it didn't, exactly. But it may have ruined this blog. It takes up all the time that I would normally use to post here. It didn't help that March was the month of fantasy baseball draft prep.

So, I'll give this one more try with a few Newses and Noteses...

Went to my first Pirate game of the year on Sunday. Sat in the right-field grandstand, which I highly recommend. It's amazing how good most of the seats in PNC are.

Breaking Bad on AMC continues to be awesome. I believe I have mentioned this in passing, but we are now caught up on the first three seasons, and it bears repeating.

I'm battling through some nagging physical issues to try to resume jogging, after a winter of inactivity. At Emily's suggestion, I'm using The Galloway Method, which is a run-walk combo thing designed to build your endurance while cutting down on injuries. Four weeks into the program, so far so good. I will attempt the Race for the Cure next month.

I continue to pay no attention to politics, beyond the absolute basics. I feel I am a happier, more mentally healthy person because of it. But I am wondering if I'm going to be able to continue ignoring it as we head into another Presidential campaign...

As the weather warms up, we've come up with a new low calorie snack for the dog, who has put on a few pounds this winter:

Those would be organic chicken broth popsicles. Anyone who'd like one, just ask.

I cannot even imagine

2011-03-07T16:35:00.004-05:00

Charlie Sheen now wants to hire an intern.

I wonder if they'll push a giant ball of oil out of a window, or if any of the projects will involve a chicken.

Inventor of smoke detector = asshole

2011-03-02T21:06:00.002-05:00

So a computer can make Ken Jennings his bitch on Jeopardy, yet basic smoke detector technology still seems to be stuck in the 1960's.

We were up for about two hours one recent night -- before, during, and after the quest to find which smoke detector was beeping in our house.

Why do they make the beeps so infrequent when it's just in the early stages of dying? I mean, it's a good idea in theory. But in practice it's just freaking annoying. When the beeps happen once every 10 minutes or so, and it's nighttime, you first try to ignore it. Then you decide you need to shut it up, only you have to wait around for a couple of beep cycles until you can actually figure out which one it is. Unless you want to smash them all with a hammer, which seems shortsighted.

Wouldn't it be better to just program them so they work normally right up until the point where they have just a few days of safe use left, and then make them beep more regularly?

Pearls Comes to Life!

2011-03-02T20:44:00.003-05:00

Soon after discovering Pearls Before Swine in mid-2008, I read the first two treasuries (each containing 18 months of strips, plus commentary) in short order.

Now, after some down time, I'm back into it whole hog (or more appropriately, whole Pig) and am finishing up the third treasury -- now listed in the "What I'm Reading" section.

I also discovered Stephan Pastis' blog, where I learned that some short animated Pearls cartoons have been made, and that there is talk of a feature film.

For any other Pearls fans out there: There are 16 of these cartoons, and they're all free to download on iTunes! It's interesting to see the choices they made for the voices and such. I laughed at this one, which is also (obviously) available on YouTube.

The New Gadget Report, Part 2

2011-02-25T13:00:00.003-05:00

Several weeks ago we finally got XM Satellite Radio.

I've always been interested in trying it, but we only have one car, and neither of us commutes, so it didn't seem like we spent quite enough time in the car to make it worth it. But then I learned that you can stream online and on the iPhone (and therefore in the house via the soundbar), and I was sold.

It's only been a couple of weeks, but I'm already really enjoying the variety (and lack of commercials) and have pretty much not listened to terrestrial radio at all. For $15 a month, it seems well worth it.

The New Gadget Report, Part 1: Apple TV + Soundbar

2011-02-24T14:00:00.001-05:00

Better two months late than never, here's a report on a couple of new tech items in the D-Nation household.

First is Apple TV. This coaster-sized gadget streams HD Netflix, iTunes movies and TV shows to our television.

But the real reason we bought it is that it also acts as a little router, allowing you to stream music from your computer and your iPhone over WiFi. Of course, to do that, you need something to play the music on. So we hooked the Apple TV into........the above soundbar. Besides making our TV sound better, it becomes our primary stereo system on the cheap. And we can keep expanding it to other parts of the house as wireless speakers designed to work with Apple's AirPlay system hit the market.

And I am not a television set

2011-02-17T15:44:00.003-05:00

I realize it's not new, but it's the first time I've ever heard of it: Lil Wayne has an album (and song) called "I Am Not a Human Being."

???

But that's not the most enjoyable part.

The first track on the album is "Gonorrhea." And a few songs later there's a track called "I'm Single." Which I suppose shouldn't surprise anybody, given that he's some sort of cyborg singing about a sexually transmitted disease.

The Grammys: "Esmerelda who did what now?"

2011-02-14T14:00:00.001-05:00

My day-after-Grammys thought: The whole process of handing out music awards -- at least the cross-genre categories -- really seems like a waste of time.

There are so many types of music, and people's interest tends to be segmented. When it comes to film and television, few people only watch comedies or only watch dramas. But there are plenty of people who listen mostly or entirely to Top 40, Indie Rock, Jazz, Classic Rock, Metal, Rap, Classical, etc.

Also, partly because of this segmentation, I think music taste is much more subjective than film, television or theater. If you take the usual poll of 1,000 Americans, I believe more of them will like any given Best Picture winner than any given Best Album winner. And I think it wouldn't even be close. So this gives the Grammys an "irrelevant" sort of vibe for a lot of people. They're never going to make many people happy. (Generally, I think people watch for the performances, not the awards).

There's also the issue of balancing the "best" with "the best we've actually heard of." On the one hand, you certainly don't want to simply include only bestselling artists. On the other hand, do you really feel like you've done something useful when, after you announce your Best New Artist award, 99.5% of viewers are furiously typing "Who the hell is Esperanza Spaulding?" into Google?

And finally, I often think there's more elitism, snobbery and douchebaggery among music fans than perhaps any other entertainment genre, which makes the whole thing that much more silly.

Airlines can kiss my ass

2011-02-09T12:49:00.004-05:00

I'm too lazy to put up the "Grind My Gears" logo, but I must take a moment to rail against airline frequent flyer programs.

We were trying to schedule a trip to either Arizona or Florida next month using either our United miles or my parents' US Airways miles (they have many, and rarely fly). But apparently no matter where you want to go or when you want to go, the 25,000 point level for redeeming flights is conveniently "sold out." For the two of us to fly to Arizona it should be 50,000 points. But in fact the only option now is flights that would be 120,000 points. Which is just ridiculous.

Airlines seem to be doing everything they can to make your points worth as few flights as possible. Feh. Long live the Amazon card.

Emulating

2011-01-28T12:00:00.000-05:00

I'd seen old video game emulators plenty of times before, but I never liked them because you have to play using the keyboard, which is stupid.

But this week I came across a forum where people were talking about how you can just plug in a generic video game controller that has a USB connector, and use that instead.

Still skeptical, I bought a $5 controller on Ebay, and damned if it didn't work! I then downloaded like 300 Genesis ROMs from some dude, and I assume I can do the same with Nintendo and perhaps even later systems like Playstation.

Assuming my computer is not now riddled with spyware, it's absolutely amazing, and free!

In my first game of NBA Jam, I won 50-49 on a ridiculous buzzer-beater from the other end of the court. And in NHL '94, another old favorite, I lost 2-1 (as the Penguins) to the L.A. Kings.

The only tricky part is getting used to the button layout that I created, since the new controller is basically a duplicate of the Playstation 1 controller, and the old Genesis controller just had A, B, and C buttons all in a row.

The dark horse 11th Best Picture nominee

2011-01-27T11:23:00.003-05:00

My sister sent this to me, and I thought it was pretty funny.

"Catchphrase!"

No more bets....

2011-01-25T18:12:00.006-05:00

Attention Mayors, Senators, Governors, City Council Presidents, Ambassadors, Prime Ministers, Dictators, Mounties, Postmasters General, and other assorted dignitaries:

The traditional cutesy bets on championship games of all sorts jumped the shark. Long ago. They've gone from mildly amusing to perfunctory and cliche, and I cannot take them any more.

If you're not going to do something cool (like hang a Terrible Towel from the torch of the Statue of Liberty), then stop. Because there are few things lamer than watching two (usually) uncool public officials exchange artery-clogging foods, and acting as if they are the first people to think of the whole splendid exercise.

Don't call it a Maca-ca-Comeback!

2011-01-24T17:43:00.005-05:00

George Allen is apparently running for his old Senate seat, giving me an excuse to chuckle anew at his stupidity.

This is going to be trouble

2011-01-21T12:51:00.002-05:00

I've discovered Scrabble for Facebook (and the accompanying iPhone app), and the Scrabble iPhone knockoff "Words with Friends."

I may never do anything productive again.

Anyone who plays on either of these platforms: We should get a game going.

Winter TV Post #1: Episodes

2011-01-21T12:00:00.000-05:00

I'm watching and enjoying the premiere season of the Hollywood-skewering comedy Episodes on Showtime.

It's a BBC/Showtime joint effort, which means it's hardly a time commitment: The entire season is only about as long as a Lord of the Rings movie.

You can read more about it here.

Matt LeBlanc isn't technically the main character, but he's definitely the big draw -- playing "himself" in a Larry David sort of way. And so far, I'm impressed with the show, and the vastly underrated LeBlanc's clever attempt at getting himself back into the game.

I'll talk about it so that it won't happen

2011-01-17T18:46:00.008-05:00

Discussion question:

If the Jets were to beat the Steelers, would theirs be the most impressive playoff path to the Super Bowl ever?

Not only would all three wins come on the road, and not only are these the 1, 2, and 3 seeds in 2010, but they're also the only teams that have represented the AFC in the Super Bowl in the last seven seasons.

I think that would be a more amazing feat than the Steelers pulled off in '05. The Colts were far better that year, but I feel like the Broncos weren't really that good, and the Bengals are the Bengals, even with a good record. Especially when you fold Carson Palmer in half on the first play.

That said: We really need to lay the smack down on their arrogant asses. I almost always root for the AFC team in the Super Bowl when the Steelers aren't playing, but I could not root for the Jets. And having to look at Rex Ryan for two weeks of hype and the game itself would be really unfortunate.

It's one of the great mysteries of life...

2011-01-17T14:54:00.003-05:00

...that people keep using the nickname "Dick" even when it's paired with an unfortunate last name.

Such as the President of the Baltimore Ravens.

Heh!

2011-01-14T14:36:00.002-05:00

After posting the picture of the hot pepper enema old guy (see earlier post), I made him my Facebook profile pic.

However, I'm going to change it after seeing this on Emily's page:

Just seems a little unfair to her.

What can be said except "Holy shit."

2011-01-05T11:28:00.002-05:00

If you aren't one of the 1.4 million people who've viewed this latest internet viral video in its first 48 hours...check it out.

This makes me laugh every time, but may eventually give me nightmares

2011-01-03T16:07:00.011-05:00

Has anyone else seen the ad below on a webpage, or in print? It's a LowerMyBills.com ad touting home refinancing.

Is it really effective to make your "spokesperson" a man who is clearly being given a hot pepper enema at the time of his photographing?

Blogsolution: No more Blogsolutions

2011-01-03T15:13:00.004-05:00

Last year I scaled down my goal of ramping up blog production:

How about this for a modest 2010 Blogsolution: one more post this year than last! Simply reversing the downward trend by one measly post couldn't possibly be that difficult.

Uh, yeah it could. Missed it by a mere 52.

Thus, I admit defeat. Either I will eventually hit a plateau, or this blog will have exactly one post in 2013.

The updated count:

466 posts in '05
334 in '06
266 in '07
255 in '08
205 in '09
154 in 2010

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

2011-01-03T12:46:00.005-05:00

I'm off the schneid!

It may not be the long sought-after rotisserie baseball championship, but it's not easy to do: I won my work football pool for the first time. I beat a record 49 other competitors by going 79-57 against the spread (picking 8 games per week). It is my first fantasy championship of any sort since 1997.

It was ridiculously close, and the last hour of watching NFL RedZone almost made my head explode.

Example: Had either of Tim Tebow's hail mary chances worked against the Chargers, I would not have won. And there were at least three other very close 4 PM games that came down to the wire, and would have changed the final standings.

(Belated) Fall TV Post #3: Lineup

2010-12-23T15:00:00.004-05:00

Just finished watching the fantastic Season 5 finale of Dexter, which reminded me that it's been a while since I posted my TV lineup.

So here's what I was watching this fall.

Shows in bold are "fall-only," to be replaced by winter-only shows that I'll post in "Winter TV Post #1" next month.

Dexter
Modern Family
Big Bang Theory
Glee
How I Met Your Mother
Grey's Anatomy
Two and a Half Men
The Middle
Family Guy
Amazing Race

"It's good!" (pretty much all the time)

2010-12-21T17:00:00.003-05:00

I didn't realize until recently that NFL field goal kickers are way better now than they've ever been. As in 23 of the 30 most accurate kickers in NFL history are currently active.

At first this seemed weird, but after thinking for a minute, it's actually not all that strange. Unlike pitcher vs. hitter or quarterback vs. defensive back (where both are getting better and stronger over time), this is more like swimming or track and field. Records are constantly broken in those sports because the athlete is getting stronger, and they're competing only against time or a fixed distance.

Still, when field goals are being made at a crazy high rate, it makes evaluating kickers a little tough. I noticed this because I went to see what Shaun Suisham's career FG% was, and was momentarily surprised to find out he's the 25th most accurate field goal kicker in history. Which seems kind of ridiculous.

It would be interesting to see Nate Silver take a crack at the relative value of kickers. Can you only accurately evaluate a kicker by comparing him to his contemporaries? And how many more points and/or wins would a Nate Kaeding (#2, 86.39%) get a team compared to a Suisham? (#25, 80.67%).

More Tales from the Great White Way

2010-12-17T14:00:00.004-05:00

Never got around to posting this for posterity...

In mid-November I embarked on a three-day, two-city road trip to watch a Steeler game in NYC with Jason, who I hadn't seen in quite some time, and attend Monday Night trivia in DC with Messiah, Sean, and others. Had a good time visiting with everyone.

I also convinced my sister to drive down from Boston for a Broadway doubleheader on Saturday, marking my third B-way excursion of 2010 (exceeding my stated goal of two!)

Not only did we see two shows, we saw two shows and only spent $52 each. From the front two rows. "How??" you probably do not care enough to ask. I will tell you anyway.

Many shows have lotteries in which they raffle off approximately two dozen front row or almost-front-row tickets for about $25, a couple of hours prior to the show. If you're in the know, and willing to play it by ear a bit, it's an incredible thing.

First, I won the Wicked lottery. Which is the most difficult lottery to win. So much so that they give you a button to commemorate your victory.

And I say "I" because my sister didn't get to the theater in time to put her name in. So it was all the more impressive since we had only one chance, not two, to win. We both loved the show. There's a reason it's still sold out every show after six years.

After that, we won the West Side Story lottery, which had far fewer contestants. This was what I saw when I leaned forward in my seat. That would be the orchestra pit, and the conductor's stuff. His head was actually kind of in my way. The front row isn't quite as good as you'd think in that particular house. Very high stage.

WSS was not definitely not my favorite show. The ending is dramatic, sure, and it was a groundbreaking show in its time. But I don't love the music. I also have a hard time getting past the "You killed my brother, but I'm totally cool with it and still love you even though I met you like 8 minutes ago." And dancing gang members are just silly. But the choreography and stage combat were cool. And even a mediocre night at a Broadway theater for $26 is still pretty much better than any other night.

I would also like to point out that Sister Jen also won a third lottery the night before, (In the Heights) which is just ridiculous. All three times it was the other person's name (her friend on Friday, me on Saturday) whose name was actually pulled.

Unintentional hiatus

2010-12-15T19:34:00.002-05:00

And I'd been doing so well with posting!

But I have a good excuse: I've been a bit busy the last week or so following an incident in which I was relieved of several pieces of personal property under duress. If you have not heard this story and wish to, feel free to contact me, as they say, "back channel."

Posting should resume shortly.

In 43 We Trust

2010-12-06T14:10:00.000-05:00

So where does last night's thrilling Polamalu save rank in his career, in terms of key plays? I can't remember them all, but I have to think it's right near the top -- with the '08 AFC Championship the undisputed #1.

I'm talking about plays that were huge to a game or season, not spectacular feats of athleticism. In that category it's gotta be the one-handed interception against the Chargers:

Thanks.

2010-12-06T13:40:00.005-05:00

What would we do without the user guide when we buy a new electronic gadget?

Yearbook Yourself

2010-12-02T16:58:00.000-05:00

I declare it still funny. Just downloaded the iPhone app.

Alrighty then!

2010-12-01T19:50:00.001-05:00

I'll be in Boulder, CO next week, and I thought I'd take a look at the theater scene in the surrounding area that weekend. Apparently this is playing in Denver:

Eeenteresting

2010-11-30T13:00:00.000-05:00

I really enjoy Katy Perry, don't get me wrong. And as you all know, reflexive cultural snobbery tends to grind my gears.

Still, it was a little weird to see this (lower left) in the "Sound of Starbucks" display:

I mean, doesn't America rely on Starbucks to recommend music that's mainstream enough that you don't have to feel like an unwashed hippie, but "cool" enough that you can play it at your dinner party and relish in your own hipness? Like the also-pictured John Legend, for instance. Katy Perry I woudn't have predicted. But good for her!

(By the way, the literal "Sound of Starbucks" when I was sitting in there was incredibly grating violin music that made me want to throw hot coffee at the speaker. Oh, what I would've given for a little Teenage Dream).

Ask in the Comments and ye shall receive...

2010-11-30T12:45:00.002-05:00

Those in glass houses...

2010-11-26T12:49:00.003-05:00

I've always found Train's music catchy, but the lyrics have gotten extremely douchey. In whatever their latest radio single is, lead singer Pat Monahan sings about something that's "flat like an Idol singer."

Really, Pat? I think those who write songs whose notes they can only hit in the studio shouldn't throw stones.

Pretty much every performance on American Idol sounds better than the couple times I've seen him try to sing "Hey Soul Sister" live.

Unfortunately I can't find the halftime show where he sang it and it was so bad I had to change the channel. But he doesn't exactly sound pleasant on this Today show performance.

Like kryptonite to sitcoms?

2010-11-19T15:52:00.004-05:00

If Ted McGinley is the "patron saint of shark-jumping," is Andrea Anders the Sitcom Kiss of Death?

I just noticed that she's now been in three sitcoms that failed in a six-year span (Joey, The Class, and Better off Ted) and two pilots that never got picked up. She also appeared in Numb3ers shortly before it got cancelled.

Now she's been cast in Matthew Perry's upcoming ABC show, Mr. Sunshine. Hopefully she will not accidentally doom it.

So long, and thanks for the bizarre behavior

2010-11-16T14:07:00.002-05:00

Happy trails, Skippy. It was fun while it lasted.

More Sunday Fun

2010-11-08T20:25:00.002-05:00

Keeping with my tradition of only posting NFL videos that have nothing to do with actual game action... this is pretty damn funny.

Belated Fall TV Post #2: Three Strikes, I'm Out

2010-11-05T16:00:00.005-04:00

I didn't have much interest in this fall's slate of new network shows. But I did take a gander at three new comedies:

&#!# My Dad Says: I watched literally six minutes of William Shatner's latest endeavor. It seemed awful.

Mike & Molly: It airs during the successful CBS Monday comedy block, and comes from the Chuck Lorre sitcom factory, so I thought I'd give it a spin. The pilot wasn't terrible. Plenty of the jokes were clunkers, but it had a few legit laugh-out-loud moments too. The premise -- two overweight people dating -- is actually kind of refreshing, and the two leads (including Swissvale's own Billy Gardell) pulled off the touching moments extremely well. But after watching two more episodes, it just wasn't funny enough to be worth a Season Pass.

Raising Hope: I found the pilot generally unfunny, and quite frankly it gave me the willies. The show is by the creator of My Name is Earl, which was also unfunny and gave me the willies. So apparently I don't like that guy's work.

Another reason to root for the Giants

2010-11-01T12:41:00.003-04:00

Was about to go to bed last night when I glanced up, noticed this, and had to capture it for YouTubage.

Look over Nomar's left shoulder. Apparently the Rangers aren't too generous about giving injured groundskeepers time off!

Scrubs need not apply (except one)

2010-10-28T13:00:00.001-04:00

Isn't there an old adage about the guys who couldn't make it as players turning out to be the best coaches?

Apparently that's not the philosophy at Arizona Diamondbacks headquarters. Check out their crazy high-profile coaching lineup after some new hires this week:

Kirk Gibson (Manager) -- 255 career home runs, NL MVP winner
Alan Trammell (Bench) -- .285 career hitter, 1003 RBI, Six-time All-Star
Don Baylor (Hitting) -- All-Star, MVP, 338 home runs
Eric Young (1B) -- All-Star, 465 stolen bases
Charles Nagy (Pitching) -- 129 big league victories, All-Star.
Matt Williams (3B) -- 378 home runs, 4 Gold Gloves, Five-time All-Star

Then there's Bullpen Coach Glenn Sherlock.

The poor bastard never made it to the majors, toiling for seven seasons in the Yankees' farm system. He hit .250 with 7 home runs in 800+ at bats.

I fear he will not have much to contribute, Glory Days-wise, when the coaching staff goes out drinking.

Also...

2010-10-25T21:00:00.002-04:00

I am writing this on my parents' brand new iMac, which has a screen the approximate size of an airplane hangar. I have to turn my head side to side to look at each end. But this is a fine, strong computing experience. Someday we're going to get a Mac.......

Filling in a blank

2010-10-25T20:23:00.008-04:00

OK, so after reading Messiah's response to the post from the other day, I realize that apparently I never came fully crashing out of the Glee closet as I thought I had.

After initially saying "I don't get it" in the fall of 2009, I posted this in June saying that I had seen another episode, enjoyed it, and was going to Netflix the first disc and see how it went.

So yeah. It went. I love it. Emily loves it. Gleeks through and through.

I was so wrong about the show, in fact, that it's hard to believe I initially thought what I thought. But I've learned that this can happen with comedies/dramedies, which can require patience at the start. Almost all of the shows I've misjudged and then returned to were comedies. I was lukewarm about How I Met Your Mother in the fall of '05, to the point where I actually skipped a couple of episodes. And I documented my return to the Big Bang Theory. Both are now beloved TV staples.

Anyway, to sum up the last three posts:

Glee good.

Naughty pictures of Lea Michele and Diana Agron also good.

PTC can go fuck itself.

Ornery talking cat HILARIOUS.

Hat tip to Sarah

2010-10-25T20:15:00.003-04:00

Sarah showed this to us on a recent visit, and it has not yet stopped amusing me!

And you thought I was irritated by KatyGate!

2010-10-21T19:30:00.001-04:00

Racy upcoming GQ photos of Glee stars Lea Michele and Diana Agron are flying around the Internets today. Our sex-negative, homophobic, nipple-bashing friends at the Parents Television Council have chimed in. So has Katie Couric. You can guess where I'm going with this.

The PTC calls the pics -- hilariously enough -- "borderline pedophilia."

That's right. Naughty photos of two 24-year-old actresses who pretend to be high schoolers constitute borderline pedophilia. Thus making every heterosexual man in America either a borderline pedophile or a liar.

Ridiculous hyperbole aside, if this were some Clarissa Explains it All-like show, then I could at least see their basic point, ho-hum as it may be in the age of Hit Me Baby One More Time. But they themselves label the show, in their "Viewing Guide," as inappropriate for kids under 16! (Summary of objections: "They admit that high school kids have sex! And there's a homo!")

So this has nothing to do with anything, and the PTC just can't deal with sex. Which we knew.

Katie Couric's response is a bit more perplexing: (my emphasis added)

....[Me and my 14-year-old daughter] both marvel at how beautifully the show has tackled difficult subjects like being gay, death, single parenthood, teenage pregnancy, disabilities and faith to name a few.

The program is already edgy in the right ways. These images don't really, in my humble opinion, fit the Glee gestalt...

These very adult photos of young women who perform in a family show just seem so un-Glee-like.

Is she simply trying to curry some scrap of favor with the nutjobs? Because if Katie is comfortable watching Glee with her 14-year-old daughter, and refers to this "edgy" show as a "family" show, she clearly has more in common with me than with the PTC. From the get go, Glee featured the themes Couric mentions, plus jokes about premature ejaculation, oral sex, alcohol-fueled sex, etc. So I guess her daughter can absorb all that just fine, but God forbid she has to wrap her brain around these photographs!

Sorry, KC. Not buying it. This is about something else. And if you are just pandering: Sorry. I regret to inform you that they're not going to watch the CBS Evening News even if you change your last name to Palin and flog an immigrant on live television.

Bubble-iscious

2010-10-15T15:42:00.006-04:00

Sony has finally gotten around to giving its Playstation 3 the "motion" technology that the Wii introduced to the world several years ago.

But the controller looks like it's blowing a bubble with blue raspberry Hubba Bubba. What the hell is that thing?

That's two classic gum references in one post. Bazinga.

Unintentional Movie Embargo Over

2010-10-14T16:20:00.000-04:00

As I've mentioned, I hadn't been to a movie in a theater in quite a long time. I don't really know how long it's been, but the last movie I can really remember going out to see was January '09 -- Slumdog Millionnaire.

Anyway, the streak is over! The ridiculously positive buzz from critics and regular folk alike helped The Social Network pierce my armor of film ambivalence.

Aside from some ridiculous traffic (reminding me of why I don't like to leave the house on Saturday nights), it was a terrific pick! Really enjoyed it.

Is this worse than Steely McBeam?

2010-10-08T15:55:00.002-04:00

Looks like Jim Carrey from The Mask, on 'roids. Apparently his name is Boltman.

Eh?

2010-10-08T15:10:00.004-04:00

I can't post this on Facebook, because it's about a friend of a friend...

Doesn't it seem a bit atypical for someone to say "I live my life for Christ" in their About Me section on Facebook, and then list Two and a Half Men among their favorite TV shows?

Nothing says "I Heart Jesus" like being a fan of Charlie Harper.

Bud

2010-10-08T15:00:00.001-04:00

Budweiser is looking to find ways to attract more people to its product, including giving out free beer, to curtail an "alarming" drop in U.S. sales.

They might also consider changing the label. Maybe something more like this:

Founding Fathers, spinning in grave

2010-10-07T14:55:00.002-04:00

Most of you probably saw this Christine O'Donnell (L*-Delaware) ad earlier this week. But in case you missed it, or the backstory to it, here it is.

* - Lunatic

Gotta keep the stats flowing

2010-10-07T14:00:00.000-04:00

I long ago realized that my addiction to fantasy sports/games has absolutely nothing to do with money, but rather it's a vehicle for learning about -- and obsessing over -- things that I enjoy.

Sure, there are fairly modest investments and payoffs involved in my various fantasy sports leagues. But that doesn't explain my shifting most of my fantasy attention to the purely-for-pride Ted Marshall now that (fantasy) baseball is done.

Every day around noon, the preliminary overnight Nielsens come out, and I'm enjoying following them more and more. It's really an unusual fantasy game, in that you hope your picks do terribly each week. For instance, I was happy to see that NBC's Chase took a healthy dive earlier this week, falling below fellow NBC show Chuck's numbers in the all-important 18-49 "demo."

Then again, I also keep up on the weekly Broadway grosses, even though I don't actually play any fantasy game that involves this. So clearly I'm a little off.

The idea is to hit the ball

2010-10-05T13:39:00.003-04:00

You can add this to the list of amusing baseball injuries.

Hey, I beat 2,001 other people!

2010-09-26T12:28:00.006-04:00

Never having run more than 4.1 miles, I ran today's Great Race (6.2 mi.) while averaging 9:57 per mile! Given the modest amount of training that I've done, my history of laziness, and some creaky body parts, I'm quite proud of myself.

I felt pretty good throughout. I could feel the ongoing soreness in my IT band (which I had never heard of prior to hurting it), but it didn't bother me until afterwards, when I tried to stand up after the bus ride back to the starting line. That wasn't so good. And tomorrow won't be fun. But the race itself went just fine.

Here's the little time thing from the website:

More Sesame goodness

2010-09-24T21:45:00.002-04:00

OK, so what would happen if these two brought their grapefruit-sized packages to Sesame Street in 2010?

Man, you can see that junk from near, from far, and probably from outer space!

KatyGate

2010-09-24T21:29:00.003-04:00

Well, I've had two interesting off-site e-mail exchanges regarding KatyGate. While I enjoy the discussions and respect everyone's opinion, my personal view certainly hasn't changed. And my broader beliefs about the ridiculous attitudes about sex in America (and the rock-bottom teen sex, pregnancy, abortion, and AIDS rates that we have to show for them) haven't, either.

All I will concede is that given that this is the United States, and that the outfit does not add anything to the performance (well...not for the kids!), Ms. Perry should have known this would happen. But that doesn't mean I agree with the outcry.

Also, I've decided: Jasmine from Alladin? Clearly a whore. One false move with that arm, and we get a glimpse of savory cartoon ta-tas!

Toss those Alladin DVDs onto the nearest pile of burning Korans at once!

What's Wrong With America, PBS edition

2010-09-23T14:41:00.004-04:00

As I rarely have the patience to craft in-depth thoughts about the stupidity around us, I'll merely point out an example of preposterous puritanical prudity.

If you missed it this morning: Katy Perry's already-filmed upcoming appearance on Sesame Street has been chucked into Oscar's can.

Judge for yourself if this is "inappropriate." But there's only one right answer. :)

Easy's question

2010-09-22T14:25:00.005-04:00

Regarding Easy's comment to the last post: That's either a mistake, or I don't understand what they mean. I've generally seen charts that looks like this, as far as viewership goes:

That roughly jibes with this article, which says Americans watch 34 hours a week, with 17.3 hours on cable (which would be 50.8%) and 7.8 hours on the Big 4 (22.9%).

However, this still leaves a rather whopping 7.8 hours (22.9%) unaccounted for. Either Variety's numbers on pay cable are all screwed up, or perhaps "ad supported cable" only includes something like the 40 most popular channels.

Fall TV Post #1: Apparently I am not typical

2010-09-21T13:50:00.002-04:00

With the broadcast television season underway as of last night, I thought I'd react to some of the factoids I found in an article in Variety.

DVR's are in 37.3% of American households.

True, that's up from 1.2% in January 2006, which represents a pretty fast rise to prominence for the little Devices of Joy. Yet the number still always seems low to me. After seven years, I can really no longer imagine the constraint-filled waste of time that is watching TV the normal way.

The average American watched 35 hours and 34 minutes of TV a week last season.

Holy mother of pearl, that seems like a lot! This is why we all need DVRs!

Viewers 45 and older remain the most eager to time-shift their TV viewing. The 45-plus crowd makes up 37% of DVR viewing, up from 28% in 2006.

This just seems made up. Is this only because viewers 45 and older watch more TV, and maybe there are more of them?

54% of households have HDTV.

In, 2003, I would've predicted that DVRs would grow faster than HDTV. As awesome as HD is, I think a DVR is still more of a game-changer. But I guess there are a few factors at play: a) HDTV has gotten better and better; b) I suppose it's easier to see, in a store, the impact HD will have, versus a DVR; and most importantly c) It seems you can't actually buy a non-HDTV anymore unless you really work at it. Which would be stupid.

Dramas account for 41% of all viewing across the broadcast networks.

Is this fuzzy math? This probably means that dramas account for 41% of all minutes watched. Which doesn't tell us all that much, since they are twice as long as comedies. In any event, I definitely watch more comedies than dramas, but I don't know how my percentages match up. A project for another (I'm sure thrilling) post.

Now THIS movie will get me to a theater

2010-09-17T14:13:00.005-04:00

Sacha Baron Cohen is apparently going to star in a Freddie Mercury biopic.

I don't think anyone will be wondering why he was chosen for the role -- at least from a physical standpoint.

Wednesday Quiz: The Internet ABC's

2010-09-15T12:46:00.003-04:00

I'm sure everyone's noticed the new Google Instant, which makes your search results show up as you type.

I was curious about what the first result is for each letter, if you type it in alone.
So go ahead and try to guess what the first Google result is for A, B, C, etc. No cheating, obviously.

I'll post the answers later in the comments section.

And now, your moment of Zen!

2010-09-14T11:16:00.002-04:00

A terrific first weekend of NFL gridiron action, and this is the video I have come up with to share.

Breaking Bad Seems Good

2010-09-09T14:00:00.001-04:00

As I said I might, I Netflixed the first disc of Season 1 of Breaking Bad last weekend.

While we're only three episodes in (four more coming today), I can say right off the bat that the show is pretty compelling. Unlike some series, where you need a little time to ramp up and figure out what it's going to really be like, it grabs you from literally the very first scene. Looking forward to the next episodes.

I'll post further thoughts as warranted.

Red light, green light

2010-09-09T13:00:00.001-04:00

I meant to follow up on this post.

I believe all that happened was that the "faulty" traffic light was rotated to face the wrong way. A couple of days later, there was still a light in that same spot, but it was turned 90 degrees. Which makes sense, since it was in sync with the opposing traffic. I don't know why I didn't really think of this at the time.

No headline required

2010-09-07T15:52:00.001-04:00

Movie review-palooza!

2010-09-03T15:30:00.000-04:00

I still have maintained my freakish streak of not seeing a movie in the theaters since 2008. However, during the TV slow season this summer, we have gotten through some Netflix movies, most of them very light/silly.

Here they are, roughly in the order in which I enjoyed them -- with my trademark detailed reviews.

1) Iron Man: Thoroughly enjoyable superhero goodness.

2) Milk: Thoroughly enjoyable gayness.

3) Zack and Miri Make a Porno: Maybe it was the fact it was set in Pittsburgh, but I just plain liked this one.

4) Role Models: Far from a perfect movie, but I liked this one so much more than its contemporary buddy film listed at #8.

5) The Invention of Lying: This was way better than I expected. The first 20 minutes was hilarious, and overall it wasn't that far from being a legitimately intresting movie, a la Pleasantville. But it sort of went off the rails and ended up not making all that much sense if you really tried to think about it. Still, I love Ricky Gervais and that was enough.

6) Date Night: This came nowhere close to actually being a good movie, but with Steve Carell and Tina Fey, you're going to laugh.

7) Pink Panther (2006): It is what it is. You could watch the absolutely hilarious "I would like to buy a Hamburger" scene on YouTube (which I'd already done), and you wouldn't miss much else. But I got a kick out of watching Steve Martin do his thing.

8) The Hangover: Pretty disappointing, given the buzz about it. Mike Tyson's tiger? Come on now. I'm all about silly movies, as you can see. But this one just missed the mark.

9) Harold & Kumar go to White Castle: This was a pretty bad movie, but I had to see it for obvious pop culture reasons. Had NPH not been in it, I don't know that anyone would remember it, let alone have emboldened the studio to make two sequels.

27) Sherlock Holmes: I thought this was really, really dreadful. I enjoyed it so much less than the other nine that I'm listing it as #27. I admit, I was extremely tired when we watched it, and I was in no mood to sift through the mental haze to make sense of the plot. But I'm pretty sure that even if I'd been more awake, it would've been a stinker.

Ted Marshall, 2010-2011 style

2010-09-01T14:00:00.000-04:00

Here are my entries in the 2010-2011 Ted Marshall, ranked from 10 (most confident it will be cancelled) to 1 (least).

This year was tough. There were no gimmes (see Cavemen). Just a lot of shows that don't do much to stand out in a good or bad way. I have my strategies, though, and we'll see if I can repeat my solid 2009 showing.

10. Smallville (CW)
9. Chase (NBC)
8. The Whole Truth (ABC)
7. My Generation (ABC)
6. Running Wilde (FOX)
5. Detroit 187 (ABC)
4. Better With You (ABC)
3. The Event (NBC)
2. Body of Proof (ABC)
1. Outsourced (NBC)

One of the funniest things ever

2010-08-31T17:36:00.005-04:00

I first saw this clip on a "Best of Carson" tape when I was in college. I hadn't seen it in years, until it dawned on me to look for it on YouTube. And lo and behold, there it was...

Today is the last day to enter...

2010-08-31T13:44:00.002-04:00

...the 2010-2011 Ted Marshall Open TV Death Pool.

You choose the ten network television shows most likely to be cancelled before next fall.

I'd encourage you to enter if you have even a little interest in the entertainment industry and/or fantasy sports! It's fun to watch the season unfold and see how your predictions work out.

I'll be publishing my picks once the deadline passes.

Live blogging two events at once

2010-08-29T19:33:00.013-04:00

Praise be to TiVo. I'm going to comment on the Steeler game and the Emmys as I watch them both in as close to real time as possible.
.

8:06 PM The Emmys kick off with a terrific musical number, and Eric Stonestreet winning the Best Supporting Actor Comedy award for his portrayal of Cam on Modern Family. And Sepulveda kicks off out of bounds. There is nothing straight on television right now!

8:12 PM I am fast-forwarding liberally through the Broncos' first drive. It's preseason. Why am I doing this, anyway?

8:20 PM Holy crap, how is James Farrior still conscious? Did he just get hit head-on with his helmet off?

8:25 PM What the hell is this "widescreen" jibber-jabber that Joe Buck is spouting about? Does he mean that people with standard definition TV's are now seeing widescreen?

8:31 PM John Hodgman just isn't funny. I said it, I stand by it.

8:35 PM Modern Family nabs the writing award. It's gonna be a MF night! And why does Jim Parsons look like a ghoul? Is that just horrendous makeup? Yikes.

8:53 PM I'm 2 out of 3 in predictions so far, with Jane Lynch and Jim Parsons' wins.

8:55 PM DAMMIT. 2 for 4. I had Edie Falco for Best Comedy Actress and changed it. I watched the first few episodes of Nurse Jackie, and I really think they are stretching the boundaries of the comedy category. And apparently Edie agrees, because she just said "I'm not funny!"

9:01 PM OK, I just can't watch preseason football. No more Steelers tonight. And it's the Reality TV segment of the Emmys. Which means time to make some food.

9:32 PM OK, the wheels are off my predictions. And I may need to watch Breaking Bad. Three straight Best Actor awards for Bryan Cranston, and a Best Supporting for that co-star of his I haven't heard of? Wow.

9:49 PM By golly, I think Jimmy Fallon's getting the job done! I'm digging his corny musical bits.

10:03 PM Ok, that Ricky Gervais line was hilarious. About to read the winner in a category that included a nominee with an odd name: "I hope it's Bucky Gunts. Because I didn't know you could say that on television." And then he won!

2010 Emmy Predictions

2010-08-29T19:25:00.000-04:00

No time for explanations, but let's see how many I get right out of the ten major categories. Picks in bold. So many good choices in some categories, I might as well be throwing darts.

BEST COMEDY SERIES

"Curb Your Enthusiasm" (HBO)
"Glee" (FOX)
"Modern Family" (ABC)
"Nurse Jackie" (Showtime)
"The Office" (NBC)
"30 Rock" (NBC)

BEST COMEDY ACTOR

Jim Parsons ("The Big Bang Theory")
Larry David ("Curb Your Enthusiasm")
Matthew Morrison ("Glee")
Tony Shalhoub ("Monk")
Steve Carell ("The Office")
Alec Baldwin ("30 Rock")

BEST COMEDY ACTRESS

Lea Michele ("Glee")
Julia Louis-Dreyfus ("The New Adventures of Old Christine")
Edie Falco ("Nurse Jackie")
Amy Poehler ("Parks and Recreation")
Tina Fey ("30 Rock")
Toni Collette ("United States of Tara")

BEST SUPPORTING COMEDY ACTOR

Chris Colfer ("Glee")
Neil Patrick Harris ("How I Met Your Mother")
Jesse Tyler Ferguson ("Modern Family")
Eric Stonestreet ("Modern Family")
Ty Burrell ("Modern Family")
Jon Cryer ("Two and a Half Men")

BEST SUPPORTING COMEDY ACTRESS

Jane Lynch ("Glee")
Julie Bowen ("Modern Family")
Sofia Vergara ("Modern Family")
Kristen Wiig ("Saturday Night Live")
Jane Krakowski ("30 Rock")
Holland Taylor ("Two and a Half Men")

BEST DRAMA SERIES

"Breaking Bad" (AMC)
"Dexter" (Showtime)
"The Good Wife" (CBS)
"Lost" (ABC)
"Mad Men" (AMC)
"True Blood" (HBO)

BEST DRAMA ACTOR

Bryan Cranston ("Breaking Bad")
Michael C. Hall ("Dexter")
Kyle Chandler ("Friday Night Lights")
Hugh Laurie ("House")
Matthew Fox ("Lost")
Jon Hamm ("Mad Men")

BEST DRAMA ACTRESS

Kyra Sedgwick ("The Closer")
Glenn Close ("Damages")
Connie Britton ("Friday Night Lights")
Julianna Margulies ("The Good Wife")
Mariska Hargitay ("Law & Order: Special Victims Unit")
January Jones ("Mad Men")

BEST SUPPORTING DRAMA ACTOR

Aaron Paul ("Breaking Bad")
Martin Short ("Damages")
Terry O'Quinn ("Lost")
Michael Emerson ("Lost")
John Slattery ("Mad Men")
Andre Braugher ("Men of a Certain Age")

BEST SUPPORTING DRAMA ACTRESS

Sharon Gless ("Burn Notice")
Rose Byrne ("Damages")
Archie Panjabi ("The Good Wife")
Christine Baranski ("The Good Wife")
Christina Hendricks ("Mad Men")
Elisabeth Moss ("Mad Men")

iBooks: My take

2010-08-26T13:30:00.001-04:00

I love the march of technology, and I'm often a pretty early adopter of new gadgets. But I can't get on board with iBooks. Here's why, and maybe someone can chime in with something that will challenge my outlook.

1) I don't need to have many books with me at once. This is frequently cited as a great thing about digital readers. Which I suppose it is, if you're a student and can get a bunch of textbooks on there. But a book isn't that heavy*, and I only read one at a time.

2) Why worry about another expensive gadget? I was just at the beach. The last thing I would've wanted was to have a Kindle with me. What if I get sand in it? How do I leave it at my chair while I swim or walk, without worrying about it?

3) My books don't run out of batteries. I have to take like five chargers with me on vacation, and that's enough already.

4) You can't borrow e-books -- yet. I do like to buy some books, but I also use the library. Taking that option away is hugely problematic. Perhaps sooner rather than later they'll figure out a simple way to let you "stream" books. But until then, who wants to pay for every single book they read -- and then not even have a nice bookshelf full of titles to look at and remember fondly, or lend to friends and family?

5) It just feels oogy. I love the way it feels to crack open a new book. I like the way the pages smell. I like the way it sounds to turn a page. It just feels weird and sterile to use the gadgets.

6) I love getting packages in the mail! Aside from potentially putting a lot of sooty paper mills out of business, the only plus that I can see is downloading books instantly. That's cool, in theory. But in reality, I don't think I've ever needed a book right then. And I actually like ordering from Amazon and then getting that package in the mail a couple days later. So few happy things come via snail mail these days. Packages are still great fun.

The world may ultimately make my decision for me. But until then, I'm clinging tenaciously to the printed page.

*Exception: Under the Dome, by Stephen King, which I bought last November and really want to start already, but it's too massive to lug back and forth to work! Guess I'll have to make that one an at-home-only project.

The One Where I Get Every Channel

2010-08-26T12:00:00.001-04:00

I don't normally complain about customer service, or make blanket statements about hating entire industries. But I must say that I really dislike the cable company. Any cable company. Or satellite provider. Really anyone in charge of delivering the flashy talking pictures to the rectangle in my living room.

My one-year Comcast "bundle" expired, causing my bill to skyrocket. So I embarked on a three-day ordeal in which the goal was simple: Try to get the same answer twice when asking what I can do to get my bill back down. Pretty much impossible.

Finally, after I told them (truthfully) that I'd gotten an estimate from Verizon, they offered me a bundle that would cut my bill by $30 (though it's still about $30 higher than when I moved into the house as a new Triple Play customer).

Of course the only package they would offer me that had what I wanted was the Every Channel Known To Man Bundle. So now I pay less than I did, and get more channels, knowing full well that in 12 months I will have to go through the whole damn process again.

The change did pay an immediate dividend, though. I now get the CBS College Sports channel, which shows College/Club Ultimate Frisbee Nationals, as well as "Road to the Championship"-type features about ultimate. Which is pretty neat.

Chukki O.

2010-08-23T16:30:00.000-04:00

Back from vacation and full of ideas. I'll bet you've never heard that from me before!

This morning's PG reports that a sheriff's sale is in the works for former Steeler Chukky Okobi's mansion in Shadyside. But the paper reports it's all going according to his plan:

"Not paying the mortgage was a strategic move on my part," he said.

To be fair, the explanation sounds like it could be reasonable. What do I know? But out of context, the quote is too funny to leave alone.

Daytrippers

2010-08-17T20:13:00.001-04:00

Since we were able to take more time to vacation at the beach this year (in MA), we felt fine sacrificing a day for a lightning-fast day trip to NYC for a matinee.

It seems to be between 4 and 4.5 hours one way, depending on traffic. So we took off around 7:30 on Saturday, parked on 43rd St. around noon, and had lunch. Then we headed to the Longacre Theater to see La Cage aux Folles, which was terrific.

Here is Kelsey Grammer signing Emily's Playbill and chatting after the show.

This is one of the "Cagelles," answering Emily's question about whether he always leaves his makeup on between shows on Saturdays.

And this is another actress from the show, Veanne Cox. I recognized her from Seinfeld, but couldn't remember the role. I was afraid that she's be insulted if I asked her, but she was cool and reminded me that she was Toby, the heckler who ended up getting her toe cut off by a bus!

The other star of the show, (Tony-Award winner) Douglas Hodge, did not come out afterwards, which was mildly disappointing. But his performance was phenomenal.

And we were home by just after 10! Might just become an annual tradition.

An Open Letter

2010-08-11T21:31:00.002-04:00

Dear Poison Ivy,

Seriously? Twice in one summer, after never being afflicted by your itchy demonic oil for 35 years? Seriously? FUCK YOU, you menacing asshole fucktard of a plant.

Sincerely yours,

DanNation

Now here's something I really never thought I'd Google

2010-08-05T14:07:00.005-04:00

I just did a search for "Brett Favre Penis."

Rest assured, I was only trying to show a co-worker today's story about The Great Waffler allegedly sending pictures of his future Hall of Fame schlong to the Jets' sideline reporter/Maxim model.

But still, I had to pause and chuckle at what I had just typed.

Don't type blogpsot!

2010-07-26T15:00:00.004-04:00

Like this typo I pointed out in May, if you accidentally type "blogpsot" instead of blogspot while heading to your favorite Blogger site, you'll be redirected to a page run by some serious whackadoodles.

What I've learned so far:

This site can prove the Bible is true.

There's something called the Jews Information Desk, but I found no information there, Jewish or otherwise.

There's a whole section about ending up in the Lake of Fire, which I think has to do with 1980's Cleveland, Ohio.

When you click on the section on homosexuality, there's a subhead called "YOU SHALL KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUITS."

There is also a Forecast of Jesus section. Today calls for partly cloudy skies, with a chance of batshit crazy.

Ironically, the site's "real" URL appears to be azt.com. I'm guessing it was not named for the first approved treatment for HIV.

With video capabilities, there'll be no end to my nonsense

2010-07-21T15:38:00.003-04:00

This light confused the crap out of me on my walk to the bus yesterday.

Apologies for the narrowness of the clip. Apparently it works best if you actually put it on your computer first, instead of sending it right from the phone. Then you can upload at much higher resolutions.

Two firsts

2010-07-20T16:30:00.000-04:00

1) The first thing I've ever uploaded to YouTube.

2) The first movie I've made using iMovie on the new iPhone 4.

Tech recommendation: Dropbox rules

2010-07-20T15:07:00.005-04:00

If you haven't used the free file-sharing/backup utility Dropbox, check it out.

You can use it to share folders across computers.

Example: We both set up the Dropbox folder on our computer's desktop. Then I create a folder inside called "DanNation." I then authorize you to share the contents. Everything either one of us uploads to the folder is viewable and downloadable by the other.

It sure beats sending photos, music, etc. over e-mail, which can be painfully slow or even impossible due to size limitations.

Here's a short video about it.

Domination

2010-07-20T13:49:00.004-04:00

Usually I'm irked by one company slowly taking over many things, but I find Google's urban sprawl to be quite convenient.

I had never signed up for YouTube, but found that I was already most of the way signed up because I have Google account. So now I can use the same login for my e-mail (Gmail), blogging, and YouTube.

That's three logins down, (what feels like) a hundred to go.

Well now, that's just ridiculous

2010-07-15T18:13:00.006-04:00

A headline I just stumbled upon from the world of track and field:

Meatless Subway

2010-07-15T14:46:00.005-04:00

When Emily goes to Subway, she gets the Veggie Delight. Which is vegetables and bread.

This I cannot do. There has to be something in my sandwich.

Enter the VeggieMax. You might've seen it, even though it's usually not on the menu. It's the brownish patty that looks like meat that's been mashed together with crayons and then run over by a Hummer.

But here's a secret: it's delicious!

I now get the VM at least 50% of the time. I recommend it toasted, with pepper jack, lettuce, pickles, onions, banana peppers, and the Southwest Chipotle sauce.

Great Ultimate highlight reel

2010-07-15T12:52:00.005-04:00

Was just showing this 2009 UPA Club Nationals highlight reel to a guy at work who mentioned that his three-year-old son likes to throw the frisbee for hours.

If you skip ahead or get bored, make sure you watch the play that starts about 2:40 in. Perhaps the greatest layout I've ever seen.

Ignore the annoying music.