Big news this noon hour from the home front, as local amusement park institution Kennywood (and its sister parks) has announced it's been sold to a Spanish company, Parques Reunidos.

I could discuss the actual sale. But instead I will present -- from the home office in Madrid, Spain -- Top 10 Changes at Kennywood in 2008:

10. Gran Prix deemed "too French." Bumper car ride will now be called "Drive Like an Italian for 4 Minutes."

9. Los Whip and El Jackrabbito.

8. Kenny the Kangaroo given pink slip. New mascot: Renaldo the Guitar-Playing Pepper (or Bean) I Found On the Internet.

7. Pittsburgh Plunge renamed Big Barcelona Bath.

6. Mini-golf course replaced by new carnival game "Can you outdrive Sergio Garcia?" Three plays for a dollar.

5. Park closed from 2 to 4 PM every day so ride operators can nap.

4. Sandcastle to be put on barges, moved adjacent to nude beach on Spanish coast.

3. Idlewild to be torn down, replaced by new superpark "Antonio Banderas World."

2. "Tapas Patch" to open at two park locations in early June.

And.... the Number One Change at Kennywood in 2008:

1. Official slogan: "Reunidos, and it Feels so Good!"

[cue music]
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