Thursday, March 30, 2006

The All-Dirty-Name Team 

A baseball-related e-mail today from Messiah got me thinking about an All-Dirty-Name Team, comprised of current and retired players. Many people have surely done this before, but I couldn't find one -- so I took a shot at it.

I haven't included links in most cases, but if you doubt the existence of these present and former players, look 'em up yourself! Now, without further ado....

The team would of course be managed by veteran coaches Dick Pole and Rusty Kuntz.

The Pitching Staff:

Tony Suck
J.J. Putz
Chien-Ming Wang
Randy Johnson
Rich Harden
Mike Blowers
David Bush
R.A. Dickey
Jeff Reardon
Paul Assenmacher
Josh Hancock

Infielders: Boob Fowler, Richie Sexson, Lance Johnson, Butts Wagner

Outfielders: Albert Pujols (pronounced POO'-holes, for non-baseball people), Pussy Tebeau, Xavier Nady

Catcher: Jim Ball

And then there's your utility man...DOGGIE MILLER. Why is he the utility man? Because Doggie played every position. Seriously, folks, I could not make this stuff up.

And, as a bonus, I present a brand new Chris Berman-style nickname for 2006: Marlins rookie Dan "Bumping" Uggla!

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