Friday, February 17, 2006

So you want to be a Jihadist? 

So why has Al Qaeda been able to recruit so many whackos? It's not the pay, but maybe it's the benefits!

Indeed, some of the documents used by researchers indicate that al Qaeda has vacation plans -- seven days every three weeks for married members, five days a month for bachelors -- and provides its members with 15 days of sick leave a year.
They get more sick days than me! But it's not clear whether the "vacation time" they're referring to really means vacation, or just their days off. And the pay -- $108 a month -- is clearly not the draw.

What do you think the water cooler talk at al Qaeda is like?

Jihadist 1: Man, I'm burned out. I've gotta take a break. Did Mohammed bring the donuts today?

Jihadist 2: Yeah, they're by the copier. Just call in sick, man. We've got the days, you might as well use 'em.

Jihadist 1: Ehh... but, you know, they'll have to get somebody to replace me on the Death to America project, and it'll set us back. Maybe I'll just pray to Allah for a 73rd virgin.

Jihadist 2: Oooh, good idea. Hey, don't forget to get your "Survival Buzkashi" picks in!

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